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* My father was not admitted. This is good...but tense. Questions questions concerns...no answers. Yet. Things are becoming so crystal clear to me that I feel I need to close my eyes so that I won't see them anymore.

* In the chaos that was last weekend, I dropped my iPhone into the *ahem* commode. A bag of rice did seem to work. I won't speak to that....because it's a modern folktale worth believing in. However, the "home" button no longer works so I've used the app workaround and have a home button on the screen. But now Siri has brain damage from immersion or the inhaling unwashed rice dust. Even though I've told the phone not to empower the power of Siri, she continues to hear her Master's Voice and the phone comes to vivid illuminated life in order to tell me "Sorry Elizabeth I did not understand what you asked". Erm....poor thing. So, I need a new phone. I am weighing the Plus because of the amazing reviews on the 7 camera and its two lenses.

* Nick Cave's The Sick Bag Song just arrived and I'm already half way through. Of course I love it. LOVE. (He now knows that thongs are called thongs and not G-strings. This is a big thing for his cultural evolution.)  It's a prose poem. It's interesting to think of his wild youth in which he wrote thousands and thousands of words for his SouthernGoth novel And The Ass Saw The Angel.

* My father may have to be admitted today. His blood-oxygen isn't good. I'm waiting here because I don't want to overwhelm my folks by driving the two hours to their place if it's not necessary. They are trying desperately to maintain their sense of self-sufficiency. I'm home because they said they needed a down day yesterday. Which I get. I did, too! My house is a mess, my cupboards aren't stocked. Having bullet proof coffee this morning because I'm out of milk. (Bullet proof coffee - strong coffee, unsalted grass fed dairy butter, coconut oil). I took advantage of my cleared calendar yesterday and filled two boxes in the dining room alone. I'm serious about this now. I'm not going to be buried in the detritus of things. I cleared out the ceiling-to-floor built-in hutch. Because we raised the kids sans tv we had two cabinets filled with games. Gone. Cookbooks. Gone, for the most part. I'm keeping my La Leche League cookbooks, the ones that helped me change my life when I was a young mother. I'm also keeping my mother's Betty Crocker with the stove burner burns on the back cover. This will tell you something about my mother - this cookbook is filled with notations and marginalia. Every single recipe has an encrypted review because the first year of her marriage she made a different meal every. single. day. She was that excited to be a wife and homemaker. This book is Important.

* We got over a half a foot of rain the past few nights and days. Rain is what makes the leaves turn, so the forest is ablaze with the deciduous trees all orange and yellow. We don't get too much red in the Sierras. It's gloriously beautiful and I want to try to get some pictures.

* I wish I had been able to get some detail photos of my family home before my mother began dismantling. /regret

* I miss the days when bloggers were Queen. I bet the bloggers miss those days, too. Anyway, found this amazing appetizer - Caramel Apple Cream Cheese Spread - and then just went on to fall in love with this blogger's home and joy of life.

* Watched one of my feel-good flicks last night - Pride & Prejudice. But this 2003 Mormon version. Silly yet distracting. And Collins/Mary, because of course.

* Exhausted doesn't even come close to how The Viking and I and Kidling2 are feeling. We helped my parents with some of their move the entire weekend. Unbelievable. NOW is the time for all of you to begin sorting your lives. Pare down. Be rigorous in your desire to cleanse your life. Get rid of those things that you don't need/love but which are holding your head under. These things are full of dust and mice and spiders and any magic they may once have possessed is long gone, replaced with serious bad juju. I could rant and rant about what we are experiencing, my sister's family, my parents and their growing fragility....but I woke this morning with the crystal clear realization that it falls to me to rise above and pull all of them up with me. Into the warmth and sunshine, into the joy of those parts of life that are joyous.

* Going back down tomorrow to spend another night.

* Almost done with my writing workshop. I'm looking forward to discussing it and sharing some of the new work. I think I will NaNo the Persephone/Hades novel!

* Neighbour is still missing. Entirely. We have locked his gates. The wide-open gates were making me crazy with grief everytime I drove by. He never left his gates open. The cabin is shrouded in darkness and a strange empty silence.

* Goliath ain't half bad.

* I've been reading a ton of Bluebeard. Ugh. But it's also illuminating for me. I don't care for the predator archetype AT ALL. Especially in satanic guise. I need to INSURE that my male characters never ever veer into Predator territory. There is so much difference between Death and the Slayer.

* Speaking of, omfg, The Walking Dead? Nope. I was already done last season but this cements every single concern I've had about this violence porn and the brutality of abusing fans. This show sucks totally. Nasty nasty stuff.

* We are going to a Halloween/Birthday party on Monday! I need to climb up into the attic and paw through boxes for costumes. I may wear my skull mask again....see icon.

* D and a neighbour drove up to the "gold finding place" yesterday and spent the day looking for J and his car and any sign whatsoever. They drove hundreds of miles in a giant loop and nothing. They were disappointed/relieved but ultimately felt frustrated. I'm glad they did this and feel as though we've done all that we can do. The authorities say there is nothing they can do because he is an adult and no one really knows where he might be or when he might have gone there. We have been lectured about breaking into his cabin and going through his mailbox. So, that unfortunately is that. We may never know....Sad.

* My folks had an offer accepted on an unbelievable place here in town. And I mean unbelievable. I have no idea why they had to spend this amount of money on that kind of place. But....it's making this change easier for my mother and I suppose that is the point. Fingers crossed all around. We need them to be able to move door-to-door without the intermediary nightmare of pods and storage units and storage containers. My mother claims she is going to downsize but that just isn't believable seeing as how they've added square footage to their already oversized lives. I will be going down mid-week to continue the packing that my sister has begun for them, and then we will all be going down next weekend for the heavier lifting. The lowest quote they've gotten so far on moving is 8k, so anything we can do to augment that would be helpful. It is exciting and will ultimately be relazing but right now it's anxiety-producing.

* Do NOT waste two hours on "Tarzan". Sheesh. What a cringe-worthy disappointment. Ugh.

* "Sylvan Dread" is fantabulous stuff! Slightly scattered in that it's a collection of short stories that read more like intelligent ponderations on horror and nature...but I forgive it because the writing is so tight and the images so vivid.

* Who is planning on NaNo? The ten-week long workshop I'm writing in is almost finished now. I will discuss it more after it completes. I know that therealljidol is slated to return in the next month, too. I'm ready to write in a small writer's group.

* Casually working with The Historical Society. I love the smaller treasures - this church picnic up at the cemetery where the original church stood until WWII needed donated supplies.

And this steam-powered logging conveyance.

Look closer!!

* Road trip! So much driving. And still D is committed to never stepping foot on an airplane again. But it was brutal. And then he drove the three of us all around Phoenix because he's a control freak like that...

Weather was wonderful. But that city is odd. Can't quite put my finger on what is actually off about it...but something. And it smells. The constant heat, the cement, and the sewage system. Or maybe I just have country mouse syndrome?

Anyway, we toured the law school which was amazing. And walked around the heart of downtown. Always such a goggle-eyed experience for non-city dwellers. We wanted to see museums and eat authentic. Did all that and more.

Where is the Native American Lives Matter movement? Because NO ONE has been more destroyed in recent history than the Tribal Nations. No. One. There are no words, only tears.

All my personal photos are on various phones. I'll see if I can upload some. Kidling1 is doing fantastically well. She has a great loft apartment with a 6th floor balcony from which the downtown just unfolds beneath colorful sunsets. Not being able to use an elevator, there was a ton of stairs for me, but I loved it. We really did have a nice visit. D wanted to leave Wednesday afternoon and make another two day trip out of it, but we vetoed him, talking him into getting up at four am and attempting to make the drive in one day. We did it!

Indian schools. Panic-inducing display at the Heard Museum.
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* Kids are coming up for the debate tonight. It's definitely autumn here so I'll be serving stew.
* 2,038 miles and we have returned! I will post about the roadtrip/visit tomorrow. But first, another video from THE album.

The videos are live and different versions than the album songs. The videos are better. Nick is so tortured, though, it's hard to watch. A little known fact is that Warren Ellis, violinist and musician extraordinaire, is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL man in rock and roll. This is a true thing. Fact. And he, too, is looking haggard.

One More Time With Feeling is going to return to the cinema in December. I wish it was showing closer to me.

This song....is insanely difficult. It doesn't sound hopeful to me any more. It did at first. But now...I don't know. I wonder about this lyric - The song, the song it spins now since nineteen eighty-four and this insanely legendary image of Nick's wife, Susie, Arthur's mother, circa 1984 -

I used to think that when you died you kind of wandered the world
In a slumber til your crumble were absorbed into the earth
Well, I don't think that any more the phone it rings no more
The first minute of this arty video will give you goose-bumps, if you are so inclined to this sort of....personification.


I would suggest that this is one of the most "me" videos I've ever ever ever seen...but I worry what that says about me, to you all. And yet....this video.

*runs away to write a short story*
* Molasses is my thing. Pumpkin used to be my thing...and I still love it, but I'm more drawn to gingerbread lately. I make a lot of molasses cookies and currently THIS recipe is the best thing I've ever made - Chewy Molasses Cookies.

* Pushed through my writer's....not block....but resistence? Quicksand? Ennui? Not sure. Anyway, that's a good thing. I've got the arc for the story now, just have to decide on "voice". And head-jumping...I think I want to do all three - mother, daughter, lover.

* I bought a hat! And it's cooler than ice! The Brixton Tiller. Inspired by this great picture of (queen) Carly Simon -

We need more older womyn embracing hip fashion.

* Next door neighbour's game cam. I knew this guy was out there that night because the dogs were reacting.

He struggles with the chorus, but this version is delightful -