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* I do realize I've become more and more quiet. And it's not just "here," it's out "here," too. I can't account for it. But I can feel it. Of course I can discern the change in myself....and it's not like counting bricks that are walling me in and off from others. It's the exact opposite. I feel as though bricks have been removed, the things that gave an architectural shape to my life, my limits, the edges of my wanderings. All gone. I'm standing in a field and the trappings of any civilized discourse are far along the horizons. 

Something like that with less longing for the farmhouse and more exultation at the distance I've crawled....

* It's HOT. Really freaking hot. Terrible down in the valley, but up here with no A/C, we're feeling it from five to ten each evening. D and I are contemplating relocating out to the pool house which is wonderfully cool with its cement floor. I did manage to crack a whip a few weekends back and get D and Kidling2 to clear that beautiful cabiny space out of all their junk stuffed into hefty bags. Ugh. It took all day long. And so many cobwebs. But now it's coming together. I should take some pictures. I'm shopping for a rug and two over-stuffed chairs and a small circular table. I want it to be mountain decor but my Americana WWII posters are hanging in there and I don't know what to do with them. Nothing cooler than a fierce Uncle Sam...but that doesn't go with the vibe. I'm tired of filling the attic with these fancies of mine. I should sell them, replace them with vintage images of Mt. Shasta or somesuch.

* Anyone else reading Ocean Vuong's novel? If so, let's discuss because it's not working for me and I would love to figure out why. 

* We are watching documentaries. Last Breath was riveting.

 * What are you guys doing? 

Unexpected Topics Meme

Those who wish to participate - say so in the comments, and I will give you three topics, or spheres of interests, which I think you are not interested in, or maybe I will be surprised to learn that you have an affinity with.

I was given my topics by jaelle_n_gilla

Not a clue. They do this down at the community center and it looks like slow motion Karate. That's all I got.

2) 70s TV SHOWS
My childhood. My parents were very anti-TV and we were allowed an hour several times a week. Period. Sesame Street was the first TV show I ever saw. I was mesmerized. And soon had a huge collection of Sesame Street puppets that I took everywhere. Oscar the Grouch was my favourite. My father loved Kung Fu and I developed a childhood crush on Caine, of course. We never missed an episode. Then Little House on the Prairie and The Waltons. At the end of the decade I became obsessed with Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton in their Beauty & the Beast. Then I didn't watch TV for the next three decades so I was quite shocked when I tuned back in and TV had become slick and glossy and instantaneously gratifying. Not sure which is the superior.

I like birds. A lot. They are NOT US more than most critters. I am of the school that believes they are the descendants of dinosaurs. We only have songbirds here for the spring and then they disappear after raising their young under our roof eaves. What we have are pileated woodpeckers with their many wives and congresses of ravens. We amuse ourselves by feeding the ravens. They are crazy smart and will alert their unkindness within seconds of food going out. 

* So, first up, my mother was hospitalized with what they told me was a "possible beginnings of a heart attack." Not a good half hour. BUT SHE IS FINE. As a matter of fact, for her age, she's better than fine and all the cardiac tests are now part of a generally fantastic medical fact sheet. This is, of course, wonderful news but getting to that point was difficult and emotional and required ALL family members to work together. I guess THAT'S a good thing. Being back in the ER where my father was his last day, and being summoned there by an emergency phone call was horrid. Won't dwell on that. It happens to all of us in some shape or form and then it happens when we are front and center. She's home now, I'm home now and both sisters are stepping up their game which has been, frankly, a long time coming. 

* Chernobyl! Broke me. Good Omens wants to be a hoot and a holler but I just can't get past Crowley's contact lenses. I just can't. I will stick with it but yeah no. Thoughts on either? Also, Star Trek Picard

* Seeking out the lyrical dark fairy tale and I have quite a few new rec's for the flist. 

* The Viking's birthday was last weekend and we hosted the mothers. It was super nice with the exception of both kids coming home from an all-night bender and being in no shape for a barbecue and I was so not impressed. I got him an iPhone because enough already with the outdated technology. He won't let us set it up until THIS weekend because FEARS. *sheesh* 

* It's freakin' hot here now. Summer sprung itself fully formed out of the forehead of late-spring storms and it's unbearable. Must take the flannels off the beds. 


Oh, Deadwood. Be still my Deadwood-loving heart. And "be still" is apt because Milch has guarandamteed that his show is over. No spoilers here, although I think I only have one flister who cares about these Shakespearean heroes and villains. I'm looking forward to a rewatch and a proper discussion. Hopefully that occurs.

It was glorious. It really was. Or perhaps that's just a sentimentality. I don't know. Seth and Doc. Doc and Seth. My loves.

I have a zillion more things to share, but right now I have Real Life beckoning. I'll try to post tomorrow afternoon.

Okay, I'm going to try to reconstruct, but it really chaps my #$%. Like when someone keeps saying "what" after you've told a long story. 

Chernobyl gave me nightmares. All. Night. Long. This show. I'm so glad to hear that folks are beginning to talk about it. As they should. I think it should be required watching for anyone who is a human being. Anyone who romanticizes socialism/communism or "clean" energy. Anyone who feels horror when contemplating archaeologists unearthing hot rods thousands of years in the future. 

We've been watching Chernobyl documentaries and hands down the one that I will watch again is Babushkas of Chernobyl. This film, these women. It's a modern day fairy/folk tale. The Baba Yaga living in the poisoned forest drinking from the poisoned well serving the poisoned eggs. The Crone will always be the most fierce of the Norns. 

Finished two more Laird Hunt dark poetic parables novels - Neverhome and The Kind One. Read these. Both deal with the Civil War and slavery and women. I love this guy. I tried Max Porter's Lanny and Grief is the Thing with Feathers. Lanny couldn't ultimately deliver and GitTwF is too self-indulgent and probably didn't deserve a hard cover. Waiting for Ocean Vuong's novel. What are you lot reading?

Kidling1 adopted the sweetest kittycat I've ever seen!! She's a lovebug and Kidling1 needed this. I'm happy for both of them.

Tatyana -

Deadwood movie anyone??? HELLS YES. My father was waiting, waiting, waiting for this.

We sent a wreath to my father's grave for Memorial Day. The wreath, the flag, pennies on the stone. I can't really look at the picture. Something so irreversibly permanent about a name carved in marble.

My mother wanted someone to host a Memorial Day barbecue but it poured up here all weekend long. At four pm yesterday my sister texted that she was going to que hot dogs and everyone was invited. Uh....received that about seven pm and just shook my head. Superduper. 

I'm thinking we should start up a comm for our writers group. 

I just spent twenty minutes writing a long post. And DW ate it. I hate this site. 

Talked about Chernobyl, books I'm reading, Babushkas of Chernobyl, Memorial Day, my father's headstone. 

I just can't with this ineptitude. 
* Crazy busy here and I've been remiss in responding to comments. I guess...I just don't have an answer regarding LJ VS DW. I hashed all that out years ago. I understand all the arguments on both sides. For me, the changes have been so drastic in regards to online journaling that the arguments simply don't make that much of a difference either way. Not any more. Not when there are barely enough folks on both platforms to make up even a quarter of what magnificence the flist once was. If Idol is moving back to LJ, then I'm most likely going to follow and post there. Obviously, it may be just as easy to stay here and crosspost....that remains to be seen. 

* Raining! And pouring. And predicted to continue through Memorial Day weekend! That's a lot of wet. I'm not complaining but it is cold up on the hill, not creeping over 50 during the day, so that means we're back to woodstove fires and no walks. And dogs that want to sleep in all night. 

* I'm still reading Laird Hunt like it's a job. Finished "Neverhome" yesterday. Another quick read. I do love a slim novel. His lyricism is captivating and although his story/characters tend towards magical realism, there's a gritty realism that holds them to the recognizable world. I can't rec this guy enough! 

* Watching "Chernobyl." Queued it for bae Jared Harris but got sucked in completely because of the story. I remember the disaster very clearly. My folks lived on the east coast of England then. I was a hardcore punk stateside and believe me we had already done our share of activism regarding nuclear power. How have all the kids forgotten this??? Calves with three eyes and babies being born without brains. Chernobyl was HUGE and of course my father was in charge of so much of the spy plane maneuvering and I wish he was here to watch this show try to untangle the tangle of lies. Russia-loving Kidling1 is being stunned to a bit of contemplative silence. She is loving all things USSR but is horrified as she rightly should be. Chernobyl was the beginning of the end for the Soviet Union. 

* I'm trying to collate my 150 + pieces of Idol writing I've done over the past five years. It's a humongous undertaking. I'm sorting by category because they are all flash fiction genre. Some push over the 1,000 word count and could be "short story" but not many. Some are serialized - the philosophers and the eavesdropper, Hades/Persephone. And some are genre - pioneer, dirty realism. Some also tend towards witchy. I've never been one to return to an older piece and edit it. I can't seem to recapture that particular headspace. But I'm trying! I would like to polish some for submission, return to some for cohesion, and maybe tease a few into some kind of longer work. 

* I'm also trying to clear out the craft room and return it to guest room status. Enough with crafts that are never going to be done. Dolls and knitting and beading. Most of it has to go! It's weighing heavily on my psyche and I am ready to part with it. I have a small workspace off my bedroom and I will narrow down my crafting focus to what will fit in one corner of that room. 

How are we feeling about Shirley Jackson coming to the big screen? It upsets me and I may not watch it but CRISPIN!!!!

This entry was originally posted at https://bleodswean.dreamwidth.org/340244.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

May. 9th, 2019

* Still cross-posting from DW because of the flist. :) But I need to get back over to LJ and do some housecleaning there. I worry that once I'm back I won't return here. Also, still itching to just DELETE my social media and start over. I did that with my original LJ from 2003. And I don't miss it a bit. I'm not one of those who like archives or likes to look back. I don't go to reunions and I try not to play the "remember when" game. I save all that shit for my "fiction." LOL. Anyway...just feeling that itch and right now I'm not scratching it. 

* Made the very best bangers and mash dinner in the Instant Pot last night! YUMMY! 

* Beginning to miss the chatter and entries of Idol. Let's talk starting a writers group! 

The next chapter of IT, the final installment, is going to hit theaters this fall. I do have a mad thing for Skarsgard's clown....but the first movie was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD. But this trailer is spooky fun! 

This entry was originally posted at https://bleodswean.dreamwidth.org/340207.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
* Spent a nice weekend with Kidling1 up at her place. It's a new-to-us town and we had a lot of fun exploring it. Any town with a river and train trestle right through the middle of it has got to be a good town! Also, more than a handful of micro-breweries so we ate and drank good. She also has a pair of invasive doves nesting on her patio and that took up chunks of time. Methinks she might need a pet. LOL. 

She's doing fantastically well. This Public Defenders office is a perfect match for her. She's running her own misdemeanor department! There is no "competition" in the office because there is simply too much work and not enough attorneys. Everyone is HELPING everyone else and it makes for a very fun and supportive environment. All things she needs. It's hard to believe that a year ago this week we were in Phoenix watching her graduate, packing her up and bringing her home for a summer of BAR exam prepping. Proud of her and happy for her.

* I haven't had time to respond to the comments on my last post regarding migrating back to LJ. It is frustrating to know that flisters I hold dear are staying put on DW. I wanted to like it here, but it's a strange white canvas with very little on it. I don't know how to find folks. I feel as though I'm tiptoeing through a ward of some kind. I can't explain exactly how it strikes me, but it isn't conducive to the journaling I used to do over on LJ. 

* I'm also feeling very techno weary and am itching to delete my two social media accounts and burn DW to the ground. I don't know why this comes over me from time to time, but I'm feeling it desperately at the moment. 

* I picked up a darkling darling yesterday - Laird Hunt's In the House in the Dark of the Woods. I could not put it down. For three solid hours. And it's haunting my morning. I'm always simultaneously elated and deflated when I find a work sounding so much like my own plucked heart strings, but this one is much darker than anything I could conceive. Hunt is utterly utterly brilliant. This slim novel is a morality play dressed as a bastardized fairy tale masquerading as a horror story and a devilish take on Puritanical New England. It's fantastic! But I wouldn't recommend it without a caveat. Although I'm not quite sure what that caveat would be. If you get sucked into the first third, bear the second third, then you must take your punishment with the last. The book is set up to work in just that way. I think I will read more of him.

* Standing at this desk!!! I should have purchased this riser years ago! 

This entry was originally posted at https://bleodswean.dreamwidth.org/339864.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
* Well....I guess I'm going to be migrating back to LJ. I've been spending the past three quarters of a year here because of [community profile] therealljidol , but now it's NEARLY finished (there was a finale tie last night and now two writers are battling for that icon!!) and the full season will be hosted on LJ. This is not a major move, but it is somewhat significant as I haven't posted from the LJ platform for a long, long time now. Dreamwidth worked in the way it needed to, but honestly, two similar platforms, the cross-posting, the filters, and the flist just don't make maintaining two presences worth it. 

I do realize that this attitude of mine is frustrating for some folks. I know that there is a strong dislike of LJ, I know that some really really want DW to be the LJ of Olde. But for me, I started out on LJ sixteen years ago, I like LJ, and DW just is too....bland? for me. I'm not sure. I mean I know that LJ was all kinds of quiet by the time I packed up and settled down here and I think it's up to all of us to find a way to invigorate one or both platforms. The invigoration ain't happening on its own. I'm ready for a friending frenzy and I know there are a handful of us who want to sit around in a virtual circle talking shop. 

* Isn't it amazing when circumstances allow you to do something nice for someone??? :)

* In the meantime, the publisher of the mag convinced me to tough it out for another few months. She admitted that things are fraying and that I'm dealing with the worst of that. I don't really have a lot of faith that the situation will begin to knit back together, but I guess I'll give her until July to see....

I bought a sit to stand desk and I'm over the moon ecstatic with it!!! I used to have a standing desk but traded it in for a sitting behemoth and quickly regretted it. So happy to be up on my feet again typing away like a crazed monkey girl. 

Trying to let my goat-footed Muse rest a bit and that means feeding him all manner of Literature. What is everyone reading? What is your summer "go to" book? Mine has always been "Possession" but I'm not feeling that one yet. I want a long British novel type of read. 

Saw a cat with Brian Jones chops yesterday and now I can't stop thinking of Brian, that godstar -

This entry was originally posted at https://bleodswean.dreamwidth.org/339659.html. Please comment there using OpenID.