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November 12th, 2018

Nov. 12th, 2018

 * Yesterday was hard. My mother drove up here to get out of the smoke of the valley and we both cried over that picture of my dad in his flight suit in front of the C5. That's "my" dad, from when I was a little girl, and that's my mom's young handsome husband. When I think of my childhood dad, that's the way I think of him. I can see him standing in the kitchen, on the phone, at o dark thirty, synchronizing all his watches and getting ready to go TDY. 

* My mother is back to not doing so well. Countdown to the service on the 26th. Although she has outright said she can't imagine "the point" of life after that day....She is on a mood stabilizer now and that does seem to be...helping. Stabilizing? I don't know. At least it's helping her with the insomnia. She's going to stay a few weeks longer than the rest of us, I have a sister in Virginia. I'm going to have to try to pull out some stops for celebrating Christmas. Not sure yet, I, too, am caught up in the anxiety about the next two weeks. 

* And Kidling1's bar results!!! This Friday. Say a prayer or light a candle. Keep her in your thoughts.

* Okay, this fire. Not good. We are STILL on fire watch but I'm feeling confident right now. The air is clear up here and that's giving us some positive vibes. It's terrible energy down in the valley. These 52,000 people really are like refugees. The town has already decided to use the two County fairgrounds for temporary tent cities. I can't imagine where folks will be this time next year. This is a very low-income population, rent is already ridiculous and impossible, jobs will have been lost, a huge amount of these displaced folks are pensioners in their late 80's and early 90's! It's a true crisis in the making. Listening to the stories of folks who had to run for their lives has been riveting and horrifying. One would like to think we possess an inner core....but I don't know. Some of us do and some of us just don't. 

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