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July 7th, 2019

July Sevens

* Been very busy the last handful of days. I had a phone meeting with the magazine publisher and as usual, I’m left with far too much work. I don’t know how this happens. I start out firm and with conviction and by the end of these “regroupings” I’m doing exactly what I was doing plus more. I do recognize the trait in myself that struggles with saying “no,” but this isn’t really exactly that. And it’s not blooming under ridiculous complimentary sunshine either. I do feel a responsibility to the publication, and I recognize my role as integral. But I think at the end of it, this is about that other pesky trait wherein I loathe disappointing people and leaving anyone high and dry. When that does happen, and of course it does because in many ways that’s being human, I drag around for days feeling like scum and yearning for some sort of absolution that can never be bestowed.

Anyway, I’ve got twenty articles on the docket. Five down. And rewriting the writer’s guidelines and style guide. By tomorrow. LOL. Also, anticipating outrageous blowback from a columnist who cannot accept an ounce of critique.

* The 4th was typical of D’s dysfunctional family. Depressing and exhausting. So much driving! Half the local family didn’t show because of whoknowswhy or animosity towards whoknowswho. The moment we got back home, Kidling2 split and yesterday we found out why.

A girl.

It’s been seven months since the breakup and I guess he’s finally moving forward. This is a good thing. She’s sweet and adorable, but hey I’ve learned the lesson – I’m not going to fully immerse until. Well, until when exactly? I don’t know. But I do know that I’m still down about losing this other girl and her family. I guess that’s what I won’t do this time around, get so involved with someone else’s family.

We discovered this by driving back down to the creek yesterday. That’s too much four-wheeling for me in a month’s time. I don’t see myself heading back down there for a long while now. But all the kids were there camping and D wanted to drive a rig he hardly ever gets to drive. The ride was brutal, the hours spent on the creek were lovely.

You don’t want to ever be that old person, “I spilled more booze than you and all your friends will drink in a lifetime,” but these kids particularly believe that older folks sprang fully formed from the heads of ancient monsters. It’s slightly aggravating but I think I might have been that way at their age, too. So, I amused myself by trotting out every embarrassing story I could think of involving ¾ of those young adults and cemented myself in their minds as decidedly OLD. 




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