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* My father is now blind in one eye, and has severely limited vision out of the other. He needs cataract surgery, but hasn't been cleared yet to get it done because of the current health situation. He's starting a new chemo drug next week. My mother is sick in bed with vertigo. And I'm wandering lost among the stars and milky way.

* Struggled with Idol, not because of the prompt, which I thought was GREAT, but because I couldn't focus, can't focus, can't commit to a story. And I'm still toying with non-fic which is really not something I'm comfortable with. For various reasons. So, here was the first paragraph of my non-fic piece that was, I can guarantee you, going to end in tears and with a strange and forboding dream I had....

You become an expert. At reading the lay of the land, gauging the temperature, learning the language of the natives. Your father was a navigator, your husband a cartographer. You understand directions, you are never lost, you always know true north, and you can read the map of the stars on the faces of everyone you meet.

I no longer know where the puck is going to be.

* We finished S3 of Rectify last night and I'm not sure if they thought they were going to be cancelled, but it felt like a finale. It was beautiful and wonderful and I love love love dream sequences in serialized television. I am looking forward to Season 4 but not crazy without it. I wish authors on A03 would put up season spoilers in their summaries so that I could read fic. Remember when that used to be a sacrosanct requirement??? And you would be LAMBASTED if you didn't observe it as such? Ah, well.

* Freezing freezing cold. But we are being predicted with a warm storm for the weekend. Flood warnings. I think our snow is over for a while.


This isn't an "easy" video. But Will at 2:15....makes my heart lurch.

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you, G. I don't usually find relief in airing issues, venting...but I'm now realizing, with this situation that is completely out of my control, I need to talk out loud about it.

Darn. Why are you moving to DW? I am such a Luddite, G. I have no idea what half of what you've said here means. I wish you well over there! And may our paths cross again some day!
(Deleted comment)
ashbet
Jan. 6th, 2017 10:10 pm (UTC)
My heart is with you, dear friend <3
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:54 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
bauhausfrau
Jan. 6th, 2017 10:15 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, that all sounds so hard. Big hugs to you. <3
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you, L. As you know better than most, we all come to this place. I'm trying to find out whether it helps or hurts to talk about it. I think there are so many intimacies in regards to family that it can be hard to have it all make sense outside of one's own experiences.
jaelle_n_gilla
Jan. 6th, 2017 10:20 pm (UTC)
*hugs* for your parental situation! I'm sorry you and yours have to go through all this.
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you. *hugs*
adoptedwriter
Jan. 6th, 2017 10:56 pm (UTC)

The aging/ ailing parent thing is so tough. Hugs.

bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:56 pm (UTC)
It's been mind-blowing how life-altering this experience is proving to be. *hugs*
kittytoes
Jan. 6th, 2017 11:18 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. Bodies are sometimes such fragile things.

Oh man, that vid! o_0

Edited at 2017-01-06 11:19 pm (UTC)
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you, K. *hugs* I feel as though every day brings another paradigm shift in my world view.

Will is something else, isn't he?
murielle
Jan. 7th, 2017 12:39 am (UTC)
Oh E! I am so sorry about your parents' health. How utterly heartbreaking and overwhelming. No wonder your daughter's departure was so hard for you. Hugs

I love what you were thinking of writing. I hope you do write it. I wonder sometimes if you know how extraordinaryly wonderful your words are, how moving and profound.

I have been watching Six Feet Under - almost finished. I tried to start Rectify. I want to watch it, but have been so exhausted lately I fall asleep almost as soon as I turn it on. Obviously I can't watch it in bed. (Grin)

Hugs hon.
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you, M. I'm trying to decide if I should talk/write about this...or just let it evolve/unevolved without trying to make sense of it all. It's beyond my ability to hold it in a state of comprehension.

*HUGS*

This time last year I was finishing up Six Feet Under. What an amazing journey that show was! I think you would enjoy Rectify.
tsuki_no_bara
Jan. 7th, 2017 05:00 am (UTC)
everything with your parents sounds so hard and so difficult, and i'm so sorry it's happening to them and you. :( i hope you can find your way through it.

it's freezing cold here too, except they're predicting snow.
bleodswean
Jan. 7th, 2017 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you, C. I can't imagine what we are all going to look like once we've made it through this....

Yay for snow for you! The warmer rain (40 degrees) has begun and it's pouring now. My snow is diminished.
spotzle
Jan. 8th, 2017 05:29 pm (UTC)
Okay but if you're still looking for another something to watch, I'm going to rec Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated. I'm 100% serious. This show is good. Each show builds upon the last, there's actual mystery (in the overall arc, including the super cheesy mystery of the episode) and there's only two seasons. Towards the end you're glued to the TV because the show took a left hand turn and the series finale is incredible.

Plus, it's hilarious and it lampshades itself and they put in cameos of past Scooby Doo guest stars.

I'm sorry your extended family life is such a huge stressor for you. *hugs*
halfshellvenus
Jan. 10th, 2017 08:26 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry about the news regarding your Dad. Knowing how hard that is for him, along with everything else he's going through, has to be really tough on you. The weight of empathy on top of grief is a very heavy burden.

*sustaining hugs*
penpusher
Jan. 10th, 2017 09:33 pm (UTC)
I understand. My father is also going through some vision issues, through macular degeneration. It's difficult because he's only been texting for a couple of years - which is our main way of communicating.

Good thoughts for good things.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )