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* My father is now blind in one eye, and has severely limited vision out of the other. He needs cataract surgery, but hasn't been cleared yet to get it done because of the current health situation. He's starting a new chemo drug next week. My mother is sick in bed with vertigo. And I'm wandering lost among the stars and milky way.

* Struggled with Idol, not because of the prompt, which I thought was GREAT, but because I couldn't focus, can't focus, can't commit to a story. And I'm still toying with non-fic which is really not something I'm comfortable with. For various reasons. So, here was the first paragraph of my non-fic piece that was, I can guarantee you, going to end in tears and with a strange and forboding dream I had....

You become an expert. At reading the lay of the land, gauging the temperature, learning the language of the natives. Your father was a navigator, your husband a cartographer. You understand directions, you are never lost, you always know true north, and you can read the map of the stars on the faces of everyone you meet.

I no longer know where the puck is going to be.

* We finished S3 of Rectify last night and I'm not sure if they thought they were going to be cancelled, but it felt like a finale. It was beautiful and wonderful and I love love love dream sequences in serialized television. I am looking forward to Season 4 but not crazy without it. I wish authors on A03 would put up season spoilers in their summaries so that I could read fic. Remember when that used to be a sacrosanct requirement??? And you would be LAMBASTED if you didn't observe it as such? Ah, well.

* Freezing freezing cold. But we are being predicted with a warm storm for the weekend. Flood warnings. I think our snow is over for a while.

This isn't an "easy" video. But Will at 2:15....makes my heart lurch.


Jan. 6th, 2017 10:15 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, that all sounds so hard. Big hugs to you. <3
Jan. 7th, 2017 03:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you, L. As you know better than most, we all come to this place. I'm trying to find out whether it helps or hurts to talk about it. I think there are so many intimacies in regards to family that it can be hard to have it all make sense outside of one's own experiences.


anatomical beat

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