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my mouth it tastes like sugar

* therealljidol is down from two-hundred-something writers to twenty! It's taken months and months of writing to get here and the next few weeks are sure to be filled with great writing and edge-of-your-seat polling. Here's this week's poll with links to the entries -

Week 22 The Real LJ Idol Poll

For me, my current Real Life (tm) situation is proving to be slightly blocking for my Muse. I feel as though I'm just hanging on for the ride and I don't care for that feeling of not being in control. But that's the truth of it, I'm not in control and all I can control is my reaction and that has been hit or miss....so all that out of controllness is definitely filtering into the creative part of my brain and the result is a kind of numbness.

On the other hand, I'm beholden to Idol for forcing me to write. Thankful to readers for reading what I done wrote and giving me feedback. And happy that on some level LJ can still engage. Idol has gifted me with a huge body of work now from which to polish shorts and get inspired to write longer, better pieces.

* So, The Vampire Diaries rewatch. This is doing things to me. I guess...I would have to say that TWD is "my" show when all is said and done. I mean, I've had a ton of shows! Supernatural, The Walking Dead (the early years), Fringe, Deadwood, Justified, Hannibal, True Detective, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy. But Seasons 1 - 4 of TWD seemed to have meant the most to me. I hadn't realized that I had well and truly quit it a third of the way into Season 5. I can't quite remember now what my outrage was fueled by....doppelgangers, college hi-jinks, Klaus disappearing, pathetic attempt to soothe the Klaroliners, focus on Katherine...but whatever it was, I did quit. This has made Season 5 new and shiny and I've actually been really enjoying it. If any TWD fans want to discuss the show....let me know!

* Still sad about Fargo. Not enough Wrench/Swango fic out there...

* We are going to begin heating the pool tomorrow! I LOVE this time of year. We always do something for the 4th, and the heated pool is the best part. We get it up to 85 degrees and I get to wake up at 5:30 am and swim and swim at night and just SWIM! Looking forward to that!

* I know I'm quiet. I'm feeling scattered. I think I should make a post-daily challenge for myself for July.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 29th, 2017 08:01 pm (UTC)
Hugs you tight.

Maybe you should just give yourself some time to be as out of control as you feel. Let the muse loose on your pain. Just for you. Just for your muse. Hugs

Your pool sounds wonderful. I remember when you shared photos of it. You were planning to do some expansive planting around it so it would look like it just sprang out of nature. Did you ever do that? I've never been swimming at night. It must be magical. I've been in a pool early in the morning when it was still dark outside, at the Banff Springs Hotel. Also was in their balcony hot tub when it was snowing, that was in the evening, and it was gorgeous.

You've written amazing entries this year. I have wondered how you managed it with all you're going through, and I have marveled at your ability.

Huge hugs

Jun. 29th, 2017 08:17 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you, M. I wish I was the type who could write through pain, but I'm not. At all. I need to be centered and grounded in order to write, and especially to write well. It's taken me decades to learn that truth.

I am in gratitude for Idol and how it has had me hammering away at the keys with original work! I just feel bad when I don't feel up to my "standard".

And I miss my regular cast of characters, but I have not been able to elicit a fictional response from them since last summer.

We decided to rip out all the domestic landscaping and go for a natural woodsy approach. So far, things are looking pretty rough out there. We simply have not had the time to devote to house chores.

Hot tubs in the snow are magical experiences! I'm glad to hear you got to experience that yourself!
Jun. 29th, 2017 08:10 pm (UTC)
Your music made me long to watch Wings of Desire again. :-)
Jun. 29th, 2017 09:23 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry about your Real Life situation, and I hope that it passes soon. It isn't noticeable in your writing. Your swimming pool must be lovely. I'm glad you'll be able to use it!
Jun. 30th, 2017 04:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, G. Trying to find meaning...in seemingly meaninginglessness.

The pool can be wonderful! It's usually too cold for me. This weekend is the exception!
Jun. 30th, 2017 03:21 am (UTC)
god bless lj idol, for getting you to write some really fabulous things. i'm sorry your life has you so off-balance, tho.

on the other hand, the heated pool sounds sooo nice.
Jun. 30th, 2017 04:13 pm (UTC)
*smooch* Thanks, C! And Idol is definitely good for that sort of kick in the arse. Will you play again?

heated pool!!!!
Jul. 1st, 2017 12:25 am (UTC)
i don't know if i can do lji again, since i don't know how i did it the first time.

heated pool! \o/
Jun. 30th, 2017 04:11 am (UTC)
Hope things get better for you and your muse. :)

Jun. 30th, 2017 04:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks, S.

Where do you get these wonderful icons???
Jul. 3rd, 2017 05:37 am (UTC)
A lot of my icons are from LJ users. If you clicked on an icon of mine, I think it leads you to all of my icons and if under my icons I list who it was created by, I got it from an LJ user. A lot of my more recent ones (all of my TWD, TVD etc.) are images I got from searching on Google and making the icons myself from the images.

Jun. 30th, 2017 05:07 pm (UTC)

YES Let's discuss TVD! I think it's definitely better on the rewatch mainly because those things we were outraged by are things we know are coming and have gotten over/are resigned to.

YES for post-daily challenges. I'm doing Camp Nano in July and have set myself a target of 30 000 words. But have decided it's going to include anything I write.
Jun. 30th, 2017 06:21 pm (UTC)
I miss all my old TWD and Original icons.

I think it's definitely better on the rewatch mainly because those things we were outraged by are things we know are coming and have gotten over/are resigned to.

This. It's strange...I remember being Team!Stefan, despising Katherine, disliking the witchy arcs, being bored by Jeremy, laughing at the doppelgangers, and lusting lusting lusting after Klaus....but on the rewatch? Only one of those things remains true - KLAUS! I still love him madly.

But this time around I actually enjoyed Katherine's craziness and wanted Elena with Damon more than with Stefan. Jeremy is breaking my heart and Bonnie is womyn power! The doppelganger arc actually makes sense...and I forgive TWD for not making things work out for Klaroline.

It's proving to be a far more interesting show on the rewatch. I can't believe I ever accused it of being poorly plotted. Sure there are HOLES but they aren't as gaping as I remember.

What is Camp Nano?
Jun. 30th, 2017 06:34 pm (UTC)
I do love Klaus, even though he has his ridiculous problematic bits.

I've always loved Bonnie and the witches and their awesome power.

I too was initially Stefan/Elena and went over to Damon/Elena. Though Stefan stayed my firm favourite I think it became clear that he and Elena didn't belong together. The Jeremy arcs still haven't grown on me but then again I mostly forward through those scenes without really giving it a chance.

The thing that frustrated me most going into the latter seasons was how Damon-centric the show became. How utterly problematic it is with respect to Damon. But at some point it actually makes sense. If this story is told from Stefan's eye view, as the first episode (and last) suggests; of course Damon would be the centre of it and of course Damon's worst features would be forgotten/swept under the carpet.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )