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when doors forced open shut again

* I got voted off the Idol island last night. And that's okay.

THANK YOU, all of the flisters who have read and commented and voted on my weekly entries! Your support means everything! This game doesn't work without the readers! I don't know what the future of LJ is...although it isn't looking particularly glow-y right now, but I do know that Gary wants to continue to offer therealljidol to writers and readers and we will just have to wait and see what tricks he has up his sleeve for making that a reality!

* You all know how much I love Idol and swear by its ability to keep writers writing. But I am tired. Three consecutive seasons under my belt and I've written to one finale and two "almost" finales and that's a lot of writing. I don't want to burn out the goat-footed Muse. I'm not taking a break from writing but I am spending some time on other endeavors. The sculpting class is my new passion and I'm considering setting up a home studio. I'm copy editing for the monthly parents magazine and that's occupying the writerly part of my brain for a handful of hours each week. It's also becoming Autumn-like here and that can only mean one thing - knitting for Christmas gifting!

* I also am still expending precious energy on family dynamics. My father is showing improvement, my mother is declining rapidly. It's a decade too early for this sort of ageing and yet she is her own worst enemy and there's nothing any of us can seem to do about it. It's a weekly struggle for me to stay emotionally stable and mentally capable in the face of such a terrible rising of the waters. Lots of long walks in the woods, escapism reading, and talk therapy with my man and one of my sisters. I know it isn't about ME and yet it is in so many ways about my life experiences. Ultimately, I feel pretty helpless.

* Looking forward to begin discussing IT with the online bookclub! ;) I'm taking notes and finding some missteps now...but overall, it's a friggin' masterpiece. I don't think we need to have this massive tome FINISHED by October 1st but at least through section one.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 18th, 2017 07:25 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you got voted off. I checked yesterday afternoon and you were still tied with another person. I'd already voted though. *kicks a rock*

What are you going to knit? I'm dragging out the crochet hook this evening to begin Sylvia's Halloween costume. She wants to be a pug - I'll crochet a hat and the typical sweat suit costume with a curly tail. :)

Sep. 18th, 2017 07:37 pm (UTC)
It's all good, S! I wrote a finale piece a few years ago and that prompt is HARD. Now I can watch others write to it! ;) It was a fun season and I have a ton of raw material now!

I knit toys for the most part, although I am working on a sock cozy which is making my eyes cross with boredom. Knit purl knit purl in the round. I want to make a few of the tiny dolls for some new friends. And a scarf for my mother and father who are going to be spending the holidays in upstate New York.

A pug!!! That sounds adorable!
Sep. 19th, 2017 04:28 am (UTC)
Sorry family stuff is still causing so much stress!

Sep. 20th, 2017 10:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks, S.
Sep. 19th, 2017 07:43 am (UTC)
*Hugs* Sorry about the stuff with your mum. It's so hard, I know the feeling of it being impossible to help someone when they just don't want to help themselves. And sometimes distancing yourself is all you can do until they're willing to accept help.

I think Idol will keep trundling on, whatever happens to LJ, it is it's own creature. The fact that there's still such a large presence in Idol community despite the wasteland LJ has become kind of speaks for itself.

It is a lot of writing time, and a break definitely makes sense. Ooh what are you sculpting? Are we going to get to see pics?

Cool, I will aim to have at least section 1 done by the 1st.

Edited at 2017-09-19 07:45 am (UTC)
Sep. 20th, 2017 10:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I've been distancing and that's backfiring but if I try to get close then the injuries come fast and hard. There's no way to protect myself in this emotional onslaught. Of course I feel terrible for her but I don't think her issues are things that can be dealt with by family. Sigh.

What will the next medium be, J??? I find myself going days without posting here or even thinking about posting. It's all so depressing. I don't think Idol does have a big presence. We're topping out in the polls at about 60 folks and you have to understand that over half of those are drummed up old accounts. Not active journalers.

I want to jump back into fanfiction and let the original fic settle back into the dark waters for a while.

I don't know how to post pictures anymore!!!

I will make an IT post soon!
Sep. 21st, 2017 09:13 am (UTC)

I don't know what the next medium will be. It almost feels like there isn't going to be one. That it now exists in different forms that I don't know how to navigate. Maybe we need to join writer specific websites like 'absolute write' and 'pitch wars'. Everywhere I go people seem to be saying a twitter is needed now for writing. I really don't understand how twitter is used by writers unless it's just linking to stories.

With Idol, I think with comparison to other LJ communities it's very alive. Think about at the beginning of the season there were 178 contestants. That's 178 people not just interacting but actively participating. Whereas most other communities now barely have one or two interactions a year.

Yay for fanfiction! I look forward to reading your stuff! I was going to ask, have you been posting stuff under another name? I saw some entries and I thought it might be you.
Sep. 19th, 2017 04:07 pm (UTC)
You did great! Sorry you lost out but you should be proud :)
Sounds good, different types of creativity to keep the mind and muse active :)
Sep. 20th, 2017 10:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks, L! It was a good long run and I have no qualms about being out just before the last week. Writing as a finalist in S9 was a challenge that I think I didn't meet correctly.

I do try to keep the Muse fed! :)
Sep. 20th, 2017 02:27 am (UTC)
i'm sorry you got voted off the island, but man, i've really enjoyed reading your idol pieces. but i can also imagine that you might want a break. sculpting sounds fun! as does the incipient knitting.
Sep. 20th, 2017 10:40 pm (UTC)
It was a good run, C. And I'm pleased with what I wrote. Definitely need to take a breather...while keeping the Muse fed.
Sep. 20th, 2017 09:46 pm (UTC)
I have not been properly plugged in to this place so I don't think its entirely sincere for me to be sorry when I didn't always vote, but I am, anway. Sorry.

Sorry about your mom, too. I KNOW.

I swear I have been trying to thrift a copy of It FOREVER but can't find one. I decided to cave and Amazon but now there's a wait?? I keep asking Mat to stop at his campus bookstore on the way home and pluck one for the display they *must* have. Or I'll go out this weekend. Silly.

Speaking of, am I painting a clown doll for ye? Also, man, I found a head of yours here I forgot about! You need to bug me when I flake so hard.
Sep. 20th, 2017 10:42 pm (UTC)
I think my mom's situation is going to cause psychic injuries from which I will never recover. I have no idea anymore what to do, how to do it, when to do it, or why to do it. Completely and utterly lost here. Sorry to hear that you can relate. *hugs*

I was only able to find a single copy in this Cowtown! Crazy! I'm surprised you aren't having luck thrifting a copy....but King fans tend to snap those up whenever they find them.

Yes! I have to unbox him from the attic. I will make that a task for this coming weekend!
Sep. 25th, 2017 09:34 pm (UTC)
I have patterns for knitted toys...want them?
Sep. 25th, 2017 10:58 pm (UTC)
I am ALWAYS after new toy patterns, M! Tell me more!
Sep. 26th, 2017 12:29 am (UTC)
They are mostly from old British magazines. Haven't gone through them in years, but I have to now, and you've given me a reason to care about it. :-)
Sep. 26th, 2017 01:10 am (UTC)
*wriggles* I can't wait to hear what you discover!
Sep. 26th, 2017 03:24 am (UTC)
Can't wait to tell you! :-)
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )


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