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hold gently what you wish to grow old with

* Had one of those dreams last night, the one where you find an extra room in your house and you're wriggling with excitement and POTENTIAL. In the dream I decided I was going to dedicate the space to (another) library. Also, the room was discovered because children were growing and moving out of the house, the children were my two young nieces. In these dreams the door is always a secret, hidden thing, and in this case it was inside a bedroom closet.

* A show of hands - how many of you know Shirley Jackson's (QUEEN!) unbelievable "We Have Always Lived In the Castle"? OMG!!! How have I never ever read this before???

* I finished "13 Reasons Why" last night. And it was hard and sad. I think it was simultaneously successful and a failure. I don't understand the overuse of Ian's Joy Division....and the other 80's tunes....I still maintain that this show is about dialogue and needs to be watched together with young people. In a culture where we are currently embroiled in seeing a divide between races, I wonder if the divide between sexes might not be the more important discussion...

* Finishing a second bust at the studio. Next time, I do it my way. I've learned a lot during this class, but this technique is nothing but frustrating for me. Still, I'm not complaining, just reminding. I will try to remember my phone next week so that I can take some pictures. I guess....I need to decide which way the goat-footed Muse wants to stroll. 3D or 2D. It's all tangling up inside of me right now. I'm feeling unmoored, to say the least. Autumn is ALWAYS my creative time, so I really need to focus here. Maybe NaNo will help me navigate.

I love how genre stations can always introduce you to new-to-you artists. This guy, for example -


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 25th, 2017 04:22 pm (UTC)
I have those dreams, too! Although, in my case the one room usually ends up a warren of rooms, and just before I can get too excited it turns out they're occupied. I am having very weird dreams, no doubt induced by the codeine.

Speaking of which, discovered they are 30mg tablets. No wonder they knock me out. Last night I cut one in half--much better.

I am curious about how they will follow the first season of 13 Reasons Why. It seemed complete to me.

Edited at 2017-10-25 04:23 pm (UTC)
Oct. 25th, 2017 04:39 pm (UTC)
Yikes, M! That's a lot of painkiller! Glad you got relief with half!

Well...they still have Alex on life support and Tyler with an arsenal. But yes, I felt that S1 was complete insomuch as Hannah's story.
Oct. 25th, 2017 06:09 pm (UTC)
13 Reasons Why really stuck with me. It was hard and creepy and interesting. One thing that stuck with me was Hannah's death scene, when she cries out as she cuts her arms. I ended up watching a different movie recently in which someone does that with barely a reaction at all, and it's like, why wouldn't you cry out in pain? It's painful! Anyway.

That show had a weird effect on me, possibly because I was so dreading the end, but I also wanted to get through it, so I was relieved when it was over. And I went outside and it was sunny, and beautiful, and I realized for myself anyway, that while I have been depressed before, I've never been suicidal, and I considered how lucky I am to be able to say that, because not everyone can. And I suddenly felt really inspired to just go out and live my life fully, because not everyone gets to, and it was not the reaction I was expecting to have at the end of that season, but I'm glad it had that effect on me.


I've never read that Shirley Jackson novel, but now I want to!


I really enjoyed the song you linked! :)
Oct. 25th, 2017 11:56 pm (UTC)
Hey youse!

Yes, exactly! I thought the death scene was horrid and unwatchable and squirmy and absolutely perfect. Terrible stuff. I didn't end up feeling that she really had a legit reason, let alone 13, but I do feel that the show is full of discussion points and that if we can help even a single potential teen suicide, then we must and that's a success.

This Jackson novel is really fun!
Oct. 25th, 2017 07:31 pm (UTC)
My "new, undiscovered rooms" dreams are often either about curiosity, or stressing over how to use that new space. As in, it will create a disruption to my current space and methods!

"We Have Always Lived In The Castle" was in our library at home, while I was growing up. One of my mother's favorites. Creepy and fascinating!

Oct. 25th, 2017 11:57 pm (UTC)
Ha! That's an interesting twist on what is normally perceived as an unconscious sign that one is on the verge of something new, self-discovery of hidden potential.

It is a GREAT book and I can't believe I've never read it and never even heard of it! Have you read her other works?
Oct. 26th, 2017 01:18 am (UTC)
I've only read Jackson's short story, "The Lottery," apart from that novel. I think everyone reads that in Jr. High. It's such a strong allegory of the inhumane things we will allow so long as there is a chance we will be among the spared.
Oct. 25th, 2017 11:57 pm (UTC)
Hi! I am new to LJ. I am "LoveNeverDies".
That was a nice dream but sad because your nieces were living you. I love libraries and books. I love discovering cool books stories unreI hope to seead, adventures and romance. I would love and I hope to have a big library of my own, my boyfriend has thousands o books and pretty old ones to so when we get married will have a big collection. I hope to see you and others on my blog Love never dies. Please, come check it out.
enjoy your evening,
Oct. 26th, 2017 07:53 am (UTC)
Oh, the symbolism of this dream is great! I hope you find a lot of things you can do with the "room" that opened or will open in your life then :-)
Oct. 26th, 2017 04:29 pm (UTC)
I really enjoy the heck out of those dreams but always wake up initially disappointed to find it was a dream.
Oct. 27th, 2017 09:50 am (UTC)
Don't be! I think it means something.

I would guess it means there is some space that opened in your life. Either because you finished a job or somebody moved out of your life/became more independent, or maybe you just mentally distanced yourself from something that was demanding. Your brain tells you that you now have some "room" to fill to your heart's desire. I suggest you find that "room" and then find something to do with it. ;-)
Oct. 26th, 2017 10:02 am (UTC)
*raises hand* A most haunting book; I was thinking to recommend it for pathos_horror.

My dreams are full of extra rooms, hidden passages, stairways, towers, balconies, galleries - sometimes (in dream-context) purporting to be a place I've actually lived or been in, but there's always a lot more of it. It was so wonderful, when I first read Titus Groan, to realize that I wasn't the only person who dreamed in vast and rambling architecture. Often such dreams turn lucid toward the end, because I'll think "I know this place, but...??", and then realize that's because I've dreamed it before.

I don't think it means anything in particular. I have a degree of hyper-focus on 'structure of place', and I've been in a great many awesome old buildings: my Dream Crew just likes to take all the assorted pieces and re-assemble them like endless LEGO projects. ^^

Oct. 26th, 2017 04:30 pm (UTC)
Ooooh! Let's put that on the to-read list!

Wow, I never thought of Titus Groan as a dream image but YES! I don't have the complex architectural versions very often but the interesting thing about those is that they tend to stay with you for life. I also find it interesting that you don't put any weight on your architecture dreams!
Oct. 27th, 2017 03:26 am (UTC)
Here's the list I made - We Have Always Lived In The Castle is at the top, and is the only one of these I've read so far:

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
Boy's Life by Robert McCammon
Like Death by Tim Waggoner
Loss by Glen R. Krisch
Riverside Blues by Erik Tomblin
Weaveworld by Clive Barker
Spellbound by Jennifer Adele
Bird Box by Josh Malerman
The Red Tree by Caitlín R. Kiernan
The Cipher by Kathe Koja
The Donzerly Light by Ryne Douglas Pearson

A lot of my dreams stay with me for life, with the memories of them as vivid as waking-life memories. Sometimes it's been hard to tell them apart: I've searched in vain for books I loved, that I only read in a dream, and I persistently remember a back stairway in my old school, that definitely wasn't there. One reliable way to tell dream from waking is that I can't fly in waking life, but I wake up sometimes feeling like I could, if I only had the guts (like Arthur Dent) to throw myself at the ground and miss.

I don't put any supernatural weight on any of the anomalies I've experienced, because I spent several decades putting quite a few supernatural hypotheses to the test, and they did not hold up. There are robuster hypotheses, more in keeping with Occam's Razor, and if I knew a neuroscientist with a brain scanner, I'd love to put them to the test, but that's unlikely to happen. Anyway, eventually there may be a book, if I ever get my butt in gear to write it, but so far, Spoons Not Found.
Oct. 26th, 2017 06:57 pm (UTC)
That is a wonderful dream image - and very accurate to depict blossoming creativity. Love it!
Oct. 27th, 2017 04:00 pm (UTC)
I must admit that I've always preferred "The Haunting of Hill House" to "We've Always Lived in the Castle", although they are both excellent chilling reads.

- Erulisse (one L)
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )