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* I know, I know. I've been ABSENT. And I truly have no idea why. It's just been this overwhelming feeling of ennui where livejournal is concerned. And writing. I was more concerned a few weeks ago, but now I am chalking it up to a cyclic type of thing coupled with a general sense that LJ is a muddy rut in which I've been feeling a bit stuck. I know some of you are feeling that way, too, and there simply seems to be nothing we can do to pull ourselves or one another out. Anyway. I'm fine. Family is fine. Life is good. I sincerely hope the same for all of you.

* The holidays are rapidly approaching and I've got a calendar-full of things I need to prepare for and participate in. This isn't a bad thing, but it is quite distracting. Mayhap, I am in need of distraction? I'm going to go with that until the New Year. And then RESOLUTIONS.

* Sculpting is going very, very well and I'm enjoying/dreading it. That's a positive combination for me. Keeps me on my toes, creatively speaking. I'm working on a series I've titled "Whimsical Memento Mori". I think one of my 2018 resolutions is going to be putting together a smallish studio up here. There is so much community down at the studio in town that I cannot hear myself think.

* Wrote a Persephone/Hades comment fic in a quick fit of "just effin do this thing with your fingers" and here it is -

Any, any, what have you done to me?! (Victim)

You watch her, in ways you have never watched anyone before, living or dead. She is promised goddess to your godhood and in all the aeons of your life you had not known what this would be, what it would feel and sound and taste and look like. You realize now that you, too, were a shade, a shadow cast in darkness while the light shone above, shone on her, shone because of her, she took great handfuls of the light and wove it into her hair, dusted her nude shoulders with it, and swallowed it so that it broke inside her body and reflected out of her eyes.

You had opened the earth with your bare hands, dug out from the grave, emerging into a meadow of long grasses and flowers blooming open like a secret revealed, open open open. You want to shred them with your teeth, trample them beneath your feet.

Yet there she was, a crown of daisies, standing startled the girl deer, the untried doe. You could see she was going to bolt and the moments between you narrowed to an unbreakable filament and you used that to tie her tight against your body so that you could pull her back down into the ground with you. And that’s what you did. Exactly what you did.

But now you are the captured.

She shrugged off the coil you had bound her with, stood with all that sunlight leaking out of her, dripping off the long ends of her hair, tears refracting and falling from her eyes, but her mouth, her beautiful lips set in a firm unbroken line as she studied you and this dismal hell of a kingdom you had inherited. She found it wanting. You knew that. The dark abyss of it, the rivers of poisoned water, the black void you called a sea a ribbon on the horizon. The boatkeeper, the three-headed dog, the Moon herself bent and babushka-ed, and the endless wandering souls. It was not her mother’s domain and you have to be stoic to keep from falling at her feet, arms wrapped around her knees, and begging her. To what? Stay with you. The words are bitter on your tongue and you spit them into your palm. Please please please. You extend your hand and she scoops these seeds of supplication, the arils of desire, out with her fingers and thumb and feeds them between her lips.


* Watching - not a damned thing. Reading - nonfiction. Dreaming - vivid and detailed.

* Still loving this kid -

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
xo_kizzy_xo
Nov. 14th, 2017 06:04 pm (UTC)
There you are! I figured you were in a rut similar to everyone else's, myself included. This isn't my best time of the year. Then there's the foot. Um, yeah. I've been more or less hiding with Netflix and a bunch of books, most of which I have yet to read.

bleodswean
Nov. 15th, 2017 04:38 pm (UTC)
I am here! Just not. :(

I've got my fingers crossed for you and "the foot"!

Wish I could find something worthwhile on Netflix. What are you watching?
halfshellvenus
Nov. 14th, 2017 08:39 pm (UTC)
I'm glad to hear that you and your family are doing well. With long periods of silence, I always fear something big may have gone wrong.

Are you maybe going to post pictures of your sculptures? I would love to see how that's going!
bleodswean
Nov. 15th, 2017 10:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks, K! I know, I know, silences can be worrisome. I think I will make some LJ new years resolutions...although I do believe it's pretty much over here.

I will take pictures when I can remember to bring my phone into the studio!!!
halfshellvenus
Nov. 15th, 2017 10:40 pm (UTC)
I sure hope it isn't over. I havn't found any other site that has the same "feel" for me as LJ, even if LJ doesn't feel quite like it once did.

November is always such a terrible month (so many people heads down into Nano) that I try to reserve judgment.
ashbet
Nov. 15th, 2017 12:11 am (UTC)
"You realize now that you, too, were a shade, a shadow cast in darkness while the light shone above, shone on her, shone because of her, she took great handfuls of the light and wove it into her hair, dusted her nude shoulders with it, and swallowed it so that it broke inside her body and reflected out of her eyes."

Stunning!! Really lush imagery throughout <3

I've mostly been ridiculously busy, but largely with good things. Have met Someone Interesting, and am enjoying building that connection :)

Glad that your family is overall doing well -- and I'd love to see your sculptures, too!

<3!
bleodswean
Nov. 16th, 2017 02:35 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks, A! *hugs* Trying to write "blind", if you will. Just see what the Muse types out. Frustrating times right now in regards to words.

OMG!!! You have?!?!?! Oh, hon! That's very exciting. *fingers crossed for you both*

I need to bring my phone into the studio to snap a few pics!
ashbet
Nov. 17th, 2017 06:31 pm (UTC)
Please do take your camera in, I'd love to see some pics! :D

And check yr. e-mail, I have sent an Update!

*hugs*

-- A <3
geekslave
Nov. 15th, 2017 05:15 am (UTC)
Glad things are going well with the sculptures!

Stacey
bleodswean
Nov. 16th, 2017 02:36 am (UTC)
Thank you, S! It's been a great experiment with creativity and hands-on work!
ellison
Nov. 15th, 2017 04:56 pm (UTC)
Ooh wow, I love your fic you wrote! You choose such interesting and captivating words.

Sculpture sounds awesome!! I completely relate to the dread/enjoyment combination being good for you, creatively. It's funny how that works!

I also get the cyclical modes of writing a lot and then a little, especially here on LJ. I am glad that when I do come here and peruse my friends list, that I friends have usually posted something, and if not, I believe they'll post again soon, and when they do, it always makes me smile. I sometimes have a hard time coming here and writing, so I get it. I'm glad things are going well for you!
bleodswean
Nov. 16th, 2017 02:39 am (UTC)
Thank you!!! I'm still feeling so written out by Idol that it was relieving to write this!

I do love tactile crafts and sculpting fits right into that! Glad someone "gets" my meaning about that strange dichotomy of feelings.

You are such a prolific writer, I miss your voice when you're gone and wonder if you're scribbling away madly in a paper journal! :) Are you writing for NaNo?
ellison
Nov. 17th, 2017 08:44 am (UTC)
Aw thank you! I do scribble in paper journals a bunch!

Yes, I'm writing for NaNo. It's not going as well as I'd hoped, but it's going a little, which is more than it was doing before! ha! So that's good, at least.
swirlsofblue
Nov. 15th, 2017 07:41 pm (UTC)
Glad things are good. Sometimes time away is needed, never feel that you have to stand and perform. *Hugs*

Yay for sculpting going well.

Wow. This fic is so utterly gorgeous and absolutely beautiful, so lyrical and so visceral and oh so haunting, it is perfection.
bleodswean
Nov. 16th, 2017 02:37 am (UTC)
*smooch* Thank you, J! Words aren't easy for me right now. I definitely need a break and a recharge. But it was intriguing to just type in response to that prompt.

Are you still writing? How is NaNo?
swirlsofblue
Nov. 16th, 2017 07:33 pm (UTC)
Nano isn't really going. But after watching Thor Ragnarok I have loads of Loki fic ideas. I'm going to try to at least get to 10 000 words.
tsuki_no_bara
Nov. 16th, 2017 04:47 am (UTC)
i'm glad the fam is fine and life is good! and that sculpting is going well! let me add my voice to the chorus going "please post some pics". :D

that comment fic is really beautiful, but to be honest a lot of your persephone/hades stuff is.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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